Rebound chapter 1: The Pieces That Resembled Her Heart

   He stood there, staring at her. He couldn’t move a single muscle from his body. His feet were paralyzed for the next few minutes. The woman he loved more than anything he can think of was pouring her eyes out.

Crying so hard as if someone dug his fist into her ribcage and pulled her heart out of her chest cavity. Like a mother whose infant was grabbed out of her hand against her will. For a second he thought he was going to break down into tears next to her but he managed to pull himself together. He knew tearing up would only assure her that he really was guilty of what she heard.

   His mind was racing, trying to come up with words to explain what she just confronted him with. Searching for words to sooth her wounded heart, for anything to stop her from hyperventilating. How could he explain that what started this romance 8 months ago was not what she thought it was and that it has changed and that he genuinely loved her with every breath he inhaled.

   She was looking at him with sorrow in her eyes. He felt her stares burning through his eye to the back of his head. Questions were running through her eyes, waiting for answers, loosing patience. One question was running through her head the most, a question that topped everything else and desperately needed an answer more than any answer she soon would be demanding.

   “ Why me? Was I a random person you picked out of a crowd of people walking down the street?” She finally managed to spill; her speech was incomprehensible through the cries.

   “I can’t answer that, not before I explain everything please just listen you…” he began speaking when she cut him off.

   “DON’T EXPLAIN!!! I don’t want to hear ANYTHING from you right now. NOTHING!! I don’t even want to see your face. It makes me sick!! I feel like my insides are going to spill on the carpet!! Just answer the question. One simple answer to the question, nothing more or less!”
She somehow managed to snap back at him through the tears. She semi-screamed while saying that and it gave her slight relief. She finally managed to take a deep breath after half an hour of crying.

   He looked at her, knowing that he would dread answering. He knew the answer would only make things worse and cause more misunderstanding. He was sure that she would take the words he would speak and interpret them in her own way. He can’t handle seeing her breaking into another heart breaking cry.

   He was sure that her sobbing for another second in front of him would only lead to him walking out of the apartment as she will surely in return break his heart into pieces too. He couldn’t handle seeing her cry any longer. But then again he couldn’t walk out of the apartment as it would only mean the obvious, that he was walking out on her, he would be breaking her heart into another million pieces and he wasn’t sure if those pieces would ever be put back together.

   She dropped her head between her hands. He walked up to her from across the room. She looked like she wasn’t able to hold her head up anymore because she was so exhausted. He planted a soft kiss on her head. For a second she wished those soft, loving lips would wipe away what her mind held and would make her forget about what will soon be the cause of the insomnia she will go through the next few months. For a split second the thought of forgiving him crossed her mind.

    Immediately it came back to her. The reason for the throbbing pain she was feeling in her chest. I was the rebound girl after a 2-year relationship. He used me to back at her. The past 8 months that, at least to her, changed her definition to love and the way she looked at everything. Even if it was a simple thing like a bee sitting on the flower’s petal looked completely different after she met him. He changed her.

   Changed how she thought, felt, smiled and things she believed no love would ever have an effect on. He made her feel like she was on top of the world and no one would look at her the way he looked at her. He made her believe in loving and giving unconditionally. He gave her everything from his heart and didn’t expect anything in return, or so she thought. Soon enough she was giving unconditionally without expecting anything back. Not just for him but to everyone around her. Even those who where strangers.

   She stood up and began pacing back and forth. She needed to get out of this apartment. She wanted him out of her sight. She sat back down but his time she grabbed her shiny red high heal Balenciaga shoes and putting them on.

   “Where do u think your going??!” those words came out of his mouth before he realized what he just spoke. “You’re not going anywhere at this time of night, its 3 AM!! Do you have any idea what sort of people are roaming the street at this hour?? The least that can happen is you being harassed and I am NOT going to take the chance of that happening!”

   “You have no saying on what I do or don’t do anymore!!” The thought of him thinking that he can stop her disgusted her. How dare he think he can tell me what to do. That’s the only thing that ran through her mind making her pulse beat even faster. She stood up so fast for a second she thought she was going to tip over from her high heals.

   “Ok wait!!! Don’t leave, I’ll go… I won’t let you walk or take a cab home in the state your in right now and I know you won’t let me take you home. So stay here tonight and I’ll go stay with a friend. Stay for as long as you want, you know your way around the place, whenever your ready to leave let me know and I’ll come back after you leave.”

   With that he left before she could refuse the offer. Without a doubt he wasn’t going to let her leave no matter what she does or says. Even if he has to hold her down while she kicks and screams.

   As soon as he left she was so angry she subconsciously grabbed the small mug that sat on the table beside her and smashed it against the wall opposite her. She looked at the broken pieces that resembled her shattered heart and her heart ached even more.

   She walked into his room and picked out a shirt from his closet to change into. The smell of his perfume on his t-shirt caused a chill to run up and down her spine. She wanted so desperately to understand how he could do such a thing. She curled herself in his bed. She wanted him so bad. He was the only person that could ease her pain, except this time it was him who was causing the pain.

   She began crying and thinking about all the good times and how it suddenly hit her that it was all an act. Nothing was real. The pain began to intensify; it felt like there where half a dozen daggers stuck in her chest. It felt like the wholes caused by the daggers was draining every breath she attempted to get into her lungs.

   She was beginning to feel like she was suffocating and was desperate for a breath. Trying to find something that would calm her down, everything that she attempted failed. Finally, she remembered how being in his arms always managed to calm her down. It was actually the only think that calmed her down these days.
 
   She closed her eyes. Taking in his cologne, that by now was taken up by the bed sheets. She forced herself to forget everything that had just happened. Only for a while, until she was able to breath normally again.