Rebound Chapter 5: Forbidden Heart

Apparently I can't get anything through this thick head of mine and can't study anymore 7g emt7any bacher LOOL! im soo tireeedd and decided to take a tiny break soo here is a post for you guyz hope you enjoy it :** 

  Everything was out in the open now. A load has been taken off her chest. She can breath now. She no longer has to feel guilty for keeping it away from 7amad. After all she really did love him. He always comforted her. He eased her pain. Without him she was certain she would have been a walking corpse throughout this devastating phase.
   “so let me get this straight…” before he could finish his sentence his phone rang cutting him off.

Incoming call “Bader”
“ hala Badeer.. b5air 7mdila, inta shlonek? Shlon iljam3a?” Bader is 7amad’s cousin who stayed bil Kuwait for jam3a. He didn’t want to leave his mother alone with his younger twin sisters. Their father past away a few months before he graduated from high school fa ma kan yabe y5ale his mom brw7ha. He felt responsible for them. Bader decided that it was probably 5eera ina yg3ad bl Kuwait.

   “walla 7mdilla inta shlonek? Everything is ok? Mu nag9ek shay?”

   “la 7mdilla kil shay tamam” he reassured his cousin. “ Bdair I’m shwaya busy 3adi I call you back later??” 7amad desperately wanted to finish his conversation with Jenna.

   “ Ee ee akeed muta mafthait dg 3laiy!” and they ended their call.
 
   7amad went back to Jenna “ where were we? Oh yaa t‘thakart… so ok basically your father made you marry the first guy t8adamlch?? Bdoon ma 7tan ys2l 3anna??”

   The reason Jenna got married wasn’t because she loved him or choose to marry him or because she knew the guy, as a matter of fact she knew nothing about him except esma, she didn’t see him or as much as hear his voice until after the milcha. She didn’t go through a love story that ended happily ever after.

   You see her father wasn’t the best of fathers. He would hit her mother, her and her siblings. He drank. He would spend endless hours at his friends apartment where they would do god knows what. There life was hell when the sunset. Surprisingly in the hours of day he was good to them. Not that good but better than what they would see at night. He never left them needing anything but it was still 
not so great.

   Jenna’s father was the kind that some people would call ‘tafkeera mut5alf’. He does everything he wants and everything wrong but his kids can’t as much as breathe without his permission.

   Their dad raised his kids in a very very old fashioned way. He believed his sons don’t get to choose their wives instead their mother would find the right girl for them and the first women suggested would be their wife if the girl accepts. As for Jenna the first guy that knocks on their door gets her no questions asked. And yes, she doesn’t see him, talk to him or ask any questions.

   Jenna didn’t really complain about marrying the first guy that came along. Although it’s not fair but it means ina ra7 t6la3 from this hell whole she lives in. She spent nights waiting with her mom until her dad comes home of course drunk and was soaked in women’s perfume. It killed her. She was emotionally a wreck. He killed her with his actions because according to her they were once happily married and in love which was hard for her to believe.

   Lma Jenna tzawjat Jassim, she then found out he was half American and was born in the states and had an American passport. This sort of put her at ease. She knew ina mara7 ykon m3a8ad nafs oboha and he would be more open-minded.  But to her surprise he was TOO open minded.

  “Ee 7amad, hatha oboy w tafkeera w ma7ad ygdar yaksr klmta bl bait and that’s how he believed things were suppose to be done. Ana ma3arft kilshay ila lma we moved to the states for our ‘honeymoon’ and 3shan we both enkaml drastna. Uhwa kan ybeni akaml jam3a. Awal 2 days of our honeymoon things were awesome. I was NEVER this happy. I was on cloud 9. Bs when day 3 came, it brought the truth with it.” A tear slowly made its way down her cheek. She remembered the shock of that night.

   “That night ana knt ta3bana shway fa we agreed ina ana bg3ad bil hotel w uhwa by6la3 shwaya w yrja3. An hour after he left malait w I dozed off. Madre shkther knt nayma. I heard the room door close fa gimt glt akeed uhwa ya. Bs lil 3asaf maknt adre shno yayb ma3a.” 7amad was feeling really sorry for her. She never mentioned anything about her past life 7tan lma kanat single. He knew she had a rough time growing up but he was shocked beyond belief that her life was this bad.

   “Kan yayle sakran w eb eeda bo6l. Funny enough I wasn’t scared w I knew exactly what to do in this situation. Wdaita w ba6alt ilmay ilbard 3lai and stood there for 5 minutes. My eyes teared up w a tear fell down my cheek. I was disappointed, disappointed about my life. 6ala3ta w I took him to change him out of his dripping wet clothes and walked him over to his side of the bed and then I went back to my side and layed there. Silently crying. 6ab3an uhwa eb sab3 noma mn kther ma sakran. 

   Bchait, bchait 3la 7athy. 7sait ina maktoob 3laiy I deal with drunk men 6ool 3omre. 3ugb hours of weeping I fell asleep and woke up a few hours 3ugb at the feeling of him kissing my neck. MNSDE7 YAME W HE’S KISSING MY NECK TRYING TO WAKE ME UP WLA CHNA AMS RAJ3LE SAKRAAN!!” she was so angry w mn8ahra ili she began crying. 7amad got up and hugged her so hard. 3awrat galba! matwa8a3 ina ilsalfa chthe. 7as ina thalmha lma he jumped to conclusions.

   “7amad walla ini ma knt abe achathb 3laik bs 3araft laish I kept it from you?? Im ashamed of my past w I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. Madre shno btfakr. Glt akeed btgool laish ablsh nafse eb hal 3u8ad w u would leave me!” she hugged min back so hard not wanting to let go. She felt so safe in his arms. Kan e7sas 3omrha ma7ast fe ila with him. It felt so good.

   “inzain ta3aly g3day. Explain to me laish you got a divorce.” 7amad needed to know 7tan lo matwa8a3 ina they would ever be together again bs he needed to know.

   “3ugb 3 months of him coming sometimes drunk and yes smelling like women ta3abt w glt ala7g 3la 3omre before I repeat the life I grew up facing and what my mom went through again with him and the kids I would probably be having. 9j ina he never slept with another woman bs kfaya he smelt like another woman lma he would come home drunk. Wakt’ha knt tawne badya jam3a w I was too stressed I couldn’t handle it anymore. 

   Ilmuhm, lma I decided akalma about our situation w endawr 7al 6ala3t 7aml!! I didn’t want to get pregnant bs hathe ktbat rbek w ta8ablt ilwath3. Lma 3abdulla turned one magdart akaml. My main concern now was 3abdulla. Fa one night ga3dna w tkalmna w tfahamna w we came to a conclusion. We get a divorce. Mthel magltlk he was too open minded w traba chthe w mayshof ili ga3d yswe ‘3ala6 w ana I think ina its not a good way to raise a family. 
   
   The good thing ina uhwa ta8bal tafkeeri w mathalmne w gale makw 6alag. As for 3abdulla, after 4 months of going back and forth between me and his father we couldn’t agree on who gets him fa I filed for full custody. Jassim managed to pull enough strings for the judge to order that 3abdulla stays with his father until the last hearing."

   Jenna was done explaining her past w 3ugbha her and 7amad discussed their relationship and they ended it all. 7amad made it clear that as much as he loved her he can’t trust her anymore.

   “ Jenna intay 3arfa intay shno 3nde bs without trust we can’t go on. A relationship with one person not trusting the other would never work out and after all THIS I can’t trust you again even if I wanted to. You hurt me and betrayed my trust, I know where your getting from and I completely understand your reasons but you should know me enough to know that I wouldn’t leave you for a life you didn’t choose. 

   Mu thambch the path you had to cross but you chose not to get me involved in this big problem you are going through and left me out of a very important case that determines whether you get your son back and I would have been glad to hold your hand through all of this! 

   To be able to spend my life with you I need to be certain you would involve me in every decision and every problem you face, big or small. E7na laima al7en we didn’t get officially involved and didn’t get married 9a7 bs you still need to show me ina you want me in every part of your life, past, present and future. I deserve that atleast.

   This was a huge lie 7tan lo she had her reasons. Fahamha ina he didn’t care about her past life because she didn’t get to choose, allah kabt ina y9er kil hatha. It wasn’t her fault she grew up in that environment and that she was forced to get married and that everything happens for a reasons w lo she didn’t go through all of this she they wouldn’t have met.

   “Babe I know i understand what your saying w I don’t expect you to trust me 3ugb hathe ilsalfa. Btfakr mdam ehya gdart etchathb 3laiy eb shay kubr hatha she wont have a problem lying about something very simple. Bs inta tadre how much I love you. Kfaya those nights I would cry 3ndek and the feeling you made me experience throughout our relationship. Walla ya 7amad it is something I have never experienced eb 7ayate. 

   You were stable you were safe. 7asastne bl aman w ina I can actually accomplish lo a quarter of what I imagined my life could be. You were the key to my forbidden heart. I was waiting for it this key for so long and when you came along it was too good to be true. Bs u broke the walls I have built and now im happy. Im glad we’re ending on good terms. I am more mature now and you helped me with this.”

   She was upset for loosing him bs ham she was glad ina she won’t leave empty handed. She was going to leave him knowing that in this world love does exist and its not something you just day dream about. She left and that was the end of them but the beginning of 7amad’s agony….