Rebound Chapter 35: Vaults and boxes

As promised a post tonight. Ignore any errors and mistakes cause i wrote it on my phone and posted it and now im using e-go just to add colors to the post. 

Enjoy :**

   Razan slithered slowly and lightly under her covers and placed her heavy head on her fluffy pillow. Tears began to roll down the side of her face without her even noticing. She didn't want to cry. She didn't go up to her room to sob or to feel bad for herself. She just wanted to sleep but tears were unwillingly and uncontrollably falling from her eyes. It was her only gateway to run away from all of this. Her only escape from the pain that is being pumped around her body.

    As she closed her eyes, ready to be taken to her own dream world, she heard the door handle clicking and the door being slowly pushed open. She didn't bother turning around, she just didn't care who it was. She closed her eyes even tighter hoping that she would fall asleep. A few seconds later she felt someone laying down beside her and stroking her hair. From the smell of the Chanel No. 5 perfume that filled up the bed she knew who it was.

     Without any warning she burst into tears. She was hurting. Her heart was aching, her body was suffering. She was in agony. The idea of 7amad being with Jenna was tormenting her, it was pure torture. She began resenting and regretting loving him. She cursed herself for letting her guard down and allowing him into her life and most importantly her heart.

    She should have stuck to her decision of not getting into any sort of relationship but it was 7amad. He drew her in. He was different, he seemed to actually genuinely care. The feelings were mutual. Sometimes he didn't have to say anything she could see admiration and passion in his eyes, especially through the days before he actually said "i love you". It wasn't a game, it was real, it was authentic, or so she thought.

   She poured her heart out until she was numb. Until she had no more energy in her to produce more tears. A few seconds later she was somewhat half asleep and Aseel could hear her speaking threw her sobs. It was the state you would be in after crying for so long and you no longer had control over your body because you didn't have it in you anymore.

You just start saying random things and saying all the different feelings you have locked up inside for days and days. The feelings that you piled up in a tiny box and locked and then placed that tiny box into a huge vault where it would get lost with all the other tiny boxes in there. Its so big that it would be hard for you to look for them again but just in case you do want to look you pretend like you forgot the combination to the vault to eliminate any chances of you deciding to go searching in it again.

Razan, unfortunately, was so tired and was probably thinking about to many things at once that she unlocked that vault and was unconsciously speaking out loud.

"Laish ya3ne? Walla maswait shay! Why is going back to her ana ga9rt eb shay ma3a? If I did tell me! Tell me 3shan a3arf why he's leaving me! I won't bother him a5elk he lives his life with her just give me a reason! Just one! What about the proposal, the ring, shall I throw it away? Do they not mean anything to him anymore? I gave him everything, my all, I have nothing more to give! He took pieces of me day by day until he had my all I have nothing left of me. He owns me, my heart and soul! This is how he repays me? By leaving me? He goes back to her now lama t2kdt ina he can have her bdon ma a7ad ytda5l? Was Nasser right all along? akeed kan ga3d yge9 3laiy lama galy ina Nasser fahm '3ala6. He lied, Nasser was telling the truth akeed. 5al yrw7laha 5ala9! just go! Go please just go"

Aseel hugged Razan so tight as she let it go. Her cries were full of sorrow and pain. Heartbreaking cries. She was shaking uncontrollably. Aseel began to rock back and forth trying to calm her down. After a few minutes she stopped sobbing and began taking deep breathes to stop her gasping. Aseel couldn't believe her friend held all that in her heart and mind. She truly was hurt and broken.

Razan never complained. She never shared her feelings with Aseel about all of this. At first Aseel thought it was just her being stubborn but no, someone possessing all those feelings and worries would definitely refuse to hear or see anymore. She couldn't bear seeing Razan going through anymore this was more than enough.

Razan felt like someone was moving about in bed and then a sudden wave of cold air hit her back. She was so tired she fell asleep immediately without knowing what she had just said.

   Lights were out, curtains were half closed, but it was dark, almost pitch black. There was nothing in the room except for a small beam of light coming from Aseels mobiles screen. The faint blue color of the screen was radiating and diverging onto the ceiling. A couple of seconds later the light turned to a darker shade of blue and noise was coming out of the speakers of the phone.

   "Aloo..where r u?" The noise coming from the background was very loud and irritating. It was late at night where could that noise possibly be coming from. "Can you move 3an ilz3aj shway 5al a3arf atkalam i can't even hear you..." Noise was becoming ruffled and it sounded like a piece of wrapping paper from candy was being rubbed against the phone. The sound was suddenly clear and calm. Nothing from the previous noises were heard, as if they weren't even there a few seconds ago.

   "Ee ee sorry is this better? can you hear al7en?" The sound coming out of the phone was still loud so the volume was lowered slightly down to a normal level. "Ee a7san..." Silence filled the room no one was speaking. They didn't know how to start the conversation or how to proceed with it. "Shno ili 9ar msa3a? what was that? laish chthe swait 7amad??" It grew silent again. There was only the sound of breathing from both ends of the phone. "Ma knt adre ina ili swaita fe shay '3ala6, ana mu fahm laish ur mad at me ya Aseel."

   Aseel had called 7amad after Razan fell asleep to talk to him. She needed to know. She had to find out if Razan was right or if this is all just a misunderstanding. "7amad instead of trying to work things out with Razan you come to her house to pick up JENNA?? What were you thinking!! Inta tadre by doing hal shay 2akadt laha ina u want Jenna and not her??"

7amad didn't know what to say. He was torn between his love and between someone who was helpless and needed someone to stand by her. "Aseel ana ili ga3d aswe mu ma3nata ina abe Jenna la2 i don't. I still want Razan and i always will bs i can't sit back and see someone i once cared about and someone who has no one standing by her side going through a crisis and i just sit back and do nothing! I JUST CAN'T! It doesnt mean i love her wla feelings are re-surfacing! I left Jenna, I ended things i won't go back to her because i know what i want and its Razan."

Aseel was convinced that he isn't leaving her for Jenna but this time she is staying out if "7amad I know you want her but I can't interfere anymore, I'm sorry but she's my friend and even though she's making the wrong decision and is being stubborn I have to support her and be on her side even though I don't agree with her. Kfaya awal ma yaina today she thought I was against her. I was trying to help her and you but to her it seemed like I was taking sides."

"3ugb ili shaft'ha Razan ilyoum mara7 tsma3 mne wla shay wla ra7 trtha ini a8na3ha or drag her into another hurtful situation. A9lan ana 3ugb ma shfnakm barra t7asft ina I made her come down 3shan Jenna."

7amad was speechless. Without Aseel helping him he has no chance in this. He regrets not telling Razan about Jenna mn awal ma she asked for help. "Aseel I get where your coming from but if you take your hands out of this I won't be able to talk to her and explain myself. I still didn't even get my chance. Ma3a6atny fr9te ina akalmha may9er chthe."

Aseel was totally agreeing but she can't show him that. She has to stick to what she just said about supporting her friend with anything she decides to do. "Please don't pressure me 7amad 5ala9 Aseel em3awra glbe. She is more broken that I thought she was. All she has is me now to put her pieces back together."

7amad didn't know what to do, Razan was slipping away and he didn't have many options. Aseel was quiet for a while waiting for him to accept the truth. She didn't want to be harsh on him and she knew he wasn't in an easy position either. "5ala9 Aseel ili yray7ch I can't force you to do this just please take care of her while I'm not there."