te'9l ilroo7

i miss writing and i miss u guyz even more!

this year is almost over and i just cant wait!

bs eb nafs ilwakt 5ayfa wayd mn my finals 

5ayfa ma aswe zain and i dont get what im aiming for

w 5ayfa from the worst thing that can happen 

ina kil ta3be yroo7 and i fail one of my modules 

7mdila ina so far all my grades are good overall 

bs ham 5ayfa waaayd!

annnddd because im oh so lucky!

i hurt myself the day after my last post!

i had a trampoline competition in leeds

and i landed wrong on my right foot during warm up :(

i didnt even get to compete :(

i've been in a cast for more than 2 weeks

and my orthopedic bl q8 shaf my MRI scan and said i need the cast for 3 weeks :(

im dying from the cast and from not being able to do anything

so apart from sitting on bee-hiiind and revising in my room that has no proper wireless connection and no phone service im going slightly crazy from boredom

i miss writing so much! i want to write!

i want motivation and inspiration!!!

i promise ra7 ykon fe post soon! inshala gabl ma abe exams 

help me be motivated to write and study!

bs for now this is  random post inshala ya3jbkum w baktb post for Pearl soon inshala

ENJOOYY!

   Papers were spread all over the bed. The file cabinet was wide open. The clock on the wall read 3:00 am. M7md was beyond exhausted. He hasn't slept in 3 days or had a descent meal. You see, his mother passed away 3 days ago. They've been in london for 4 months now and 5 days before they were due to go back home and be between their friends and family she died. She died of cancer. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 4 years ago but she was treated. Doctors claimed they got it all in surgery after her treatment. They said she was cancer free. She was as good as new. Surprisingly, a three and half years later it was back and she had the option of treatment again but his mother refused. She said the first time round was hard enough, she doesn't have any more strength in her to fight. She can't fight fate anymore. Whenever it was her time to go she would be ready.

   M7md was so frustrated with everything that was going on and all the paper work and the procedures that have to be followed to take his mother back to home to bury her. It was ridiculous and he was under a lot of pressure. He was an only child and couldn't handle this on his own right now. He lost his father once and now his mother.

   As he was signing a few papers and dating them he looked at his phone to check what the date was cause everything was a big blur to him lately and for the first time in so long he had a genuine smile on his face. Today would have been their 8th anniversary. He couldn't believe its been this long. He needed her with him right now more than ever. His heart ached at how things turned out. His loved for her never stopped. In fact, it grew. Every day they were apart he loved and missed her more and more.

Te'9l ilroo7 mshtaga
Taby shofat'hy oo shraga
ta3ala oo jal 5alaga
fdaita 7esnaha ilbarag
abe gurbaha daym 

oo fekry bl '3ala hayem 

oo galby eb jawaha 7ayem
la2nha janat ilmshtag

   He remembered the first time she asked for a divorce. M7md felt like she splashed him with ice cold water. He couldn't believe his ears. "6aleegniii!!! bs magdar! hathe mu 3esha!! 6alegnniiii!!" M7med had just got home from work to find his wife sitting on their bed crying her eyes out and fuming with rage. He quickly ran to her side with a shocked look on his face and was speechless "......La..laiish??" Something inside him knew what the reason was but he still couldn't believe she was asking for this. He didn't want this to be true. "YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WHY!!!" 3abeer's voice was pretty loud and since their living with his mother he didn't want his mother to hear any of this. "7bebti, keep it down please, mabe mashakal ma3a omi al7en, kilish mali 5ilg, tkfain." M7med gently got onto the bed and cupped the face of his beautiful wife as he wiped her tears with the tip of his thumb.

   "I'm not going to keep it down!! 5al tsm3any i don't care anymore! hathe mu 3eesha!! ma7ad yrtha ynthal chthe! lo wa7da '3airi chan mn zman hadat ilbait!!" 3abeer has put a lot with his mother. The dictating, the controlling, the urge to be a part of every single thing in their lives. She even put up with his mother controlling their sex life. This just is not normal. Yes, she loved her husband very much. Yes, she couldn't imagine being away from him for one day and doesn't know how she is going to do it for the rest of her life. She couldn't bare the thought of not having the love of her life right by her side everyday, but then again she couldn't bare to live the way she is right now. M7med refuses to move out because he thinks it is unacceptable to leave his mother living alone in a house. 3abeer finally decided that sometimes you just have to make sacrifices.

   3abeer saw the look in his eyes. He was torn between his soul mate and the person who raised him and spent years watching over him. She wants to make this easier on him. She doesn't want to make him choose because at the end of it, she was pretty certain that he wouldn't abandon his mother. She got up from the bed and pulled a suitcase from the large cupboards and began to throw in whatever she saw in front of her "Ana baroo7 bait ahaly, mabe ilsalfa et6awl wla tkbar, bs abe wrgat 6alagy, mabe wla shay..." within seconds she zoned out and blocked out everything M7md was saying. She knew he would convince her to say. She knew she loved him so much that eventually she would give in and stay but would later regret it. No one said it was easy to make this decision and leave the person she loves so much but it was for the best. His mother never really approved of her even though she was the one who suggested 3abeer for her son.

   10 minutes later she was out of their room and went downstairs heading to  the door only to see her mother in law standing there, hands on hips, evil look in her eyes "Wain 6al3a hal 7azza w ma5tha a'3rathech??" 3abeer wanted to scream and swear at her but out of respect and because of the age difference she contained her anger simply just said "Ana ray7a bait ahaly w ban6r wrgat 6alagy to9aly..." She continued to take steps to the door only to hear that unpleasant voice "...ili y6la3 mn hal bait mn '3air shory w rthya... ma yrja3 lo sh9er bl denya..." Her mother in law was trying to threaten and scare her but all she did was ignore her words and walked out the door.

troo7 w tz3al w ta2ty
w tr'6a w tb3ed 2ahaty
w agool ina hathe mnaty
la2nha a9dag il3shag
agdm w a9br w an6r
lajl 3ainaha ana an6r
w eb 3ainy ilsma tam6r
lakn raby ktab ilfrag

   A week later 3abeer couldn't take it anymore, she has missed her husband terribly and texted him asking him to meet up and in their usual coffee place. When she finally saw him she threw herself into his arms and cried her eyes out. She cried for how fate is pulling them apart. She didn't want to loose him but she was going to have to if she ever wanted to live a normal life. They sat there for 3 hours, M7med trying to come up with a solution, 3abeer refusing because every suggestion still involved his mother and she was certain that if his mother knew he was with her right now after she left "The House" she would be furious and she doesn't blame M7med for wanting to still live with his mother because he can't just leave her. It's wrong. Eventually, they left and drove away, taking separate routes, different lives. They were going to have to live with this sudden change even though they both felt like their heart was shattering into a million pieces by the second.

  He was finally back home, where he belongs and the last day of the funeral was over. He was driving home after yet another long exhausting day. M7med had bags under his eyes. He looked pale and sick. He hasn't been sleeping or eating. Everyone noticed but of course no one spoke a single word about how he looked knowing what he went through. Earlier that morning M7med noticed his face in the mirror and how he looked like he aged ten years in a week but shook the thought out of his head immediately and didn't give it another thought.

   M7med parked his car in their garage and turned off the engine. He sat there for a few seconds thinking about how the house is going to be so quiet and empty. The funeral was over. He wasn't rushing around to get papers done and wasn't going to be on the phone all day arranging for stuff be done. He didn't want to walk into the house and realize how lonely and quiet it is. He was an only child and his father passed away when he was a little boy. Now his mother is gone as well and he has this humongous house all to himself. What was he going to do?

He finally opened the car door and walked towards the entrance. Pulled his keys out of his pockets and unlocked the door. Shuffled his way in as he pulled his 8etra and 3gal of his head and undid his top button of his dishdasha. He locked the door, took the keys out of the keyhole and through them across the table by the entrance.

M7med was making his way towards the stairs at the far end of the house when he noticed the living room lights on. He couldn't think of any reason for why the lights are on since the nannies wouldn't be there at this hour and since his mother was gone. She was the only one in this house that would spend a few hours in the living room at night before going to bed watching her favorite shows.

So he changed directions and walked towards the living room instead to close the lights. He stood a few steps away and took a deep breath before walking in. Even though he knew she wasn't there he still had hope of catching a glimpse of her face in that room. He walked in and was beyond shocked.

Ya 7oby w sebat ejnoony
Ya a'3la ilnas fe koony
A9oonek wnta fe 3yoony
Mdam ilgalb bek 5afag
Nefa'6 9abre w tafkery
Muta ya 7oby btjely
Muta ta'6we 3laiy laily
Tara bo3dek le ma yen6ag

"Jessie let me in and said i could wait here until you get back... hope it isn't a problem..." 3abeer was standing there. She had no make up on her face. Her hair was pulled up in a loose bun and it looked like she was exhausted as well but despite of the exhaustion, she looked breathtakingly beautiful. "La 6ab3an its not a problem, ilbait baitch..."

3abeer could see the pain in his eyes. She knew all he needed was a shoulder to lean on. All he wanted was someone he could depend on to be by his side. She walked up to him and stood right in front of him. They both just stood there looking into each others eyes. Both still in pain from the separation. They were looking at each others features and how time as changed them. They didn't look older, but somehow they both looked equally extremely tired.

Her hand slowly moved and 3abeer placed her palm on the side of his face and stroked his clean and shaven face. M7med couldn't believe that he was feeling her skin on his face. Her hands were cold and shaky. He closed his eyes as he let everything sink in. She was scared and hesitant. M7med knew she was only there to make sure he was alright and didn't need anything. "Knt bl 3azza all three days, knt abe ashofek aw as2l 3anek bs 7sait it wasn't appropriate especially with everything that happened..."

"I know ina kntay ra7ya, mag9artay walla, galoly inech kntay mawjoda mn il9ub7 lai blail w ma5laitay a7ad..." M7med placed his hand over hers and pulled it down to his lips and kissed the inside of the palm. They both kept looking at each other until M7med let go of her hand and suddenly grabbed her from her waisted and pulled her up to him carrying her as he hugged as tightly as he can.

3abeer wrapped her arms around his neck with all the power she had in her. She could feel how much M7med was in need of someone to be there for him. M7med held her so tight and hard and didn't want to let go. His heart was racing and 3abeer could feel it racing through his dishdasha "3abeer i need you now more than ever, i've missed you sooo much! so much! don't leave me again please!!"

3abeer could hear his voice slowly breaking as if he was about to burst into tears. She stroked his hair and the back of his neck trying to calm him down "I'm not going anywhere this time i promise, i made a mistake once and i will never do it again, i regret it so much, for leaving you...... and your mother..."

M7med felt like he could breath again, after what felt like forever. He felt like he was whole again. Like things are going to slowly all make sense again. True he just lost his mother, but he knew he was going to the get the proper support to get him through this, he was going to get the only support he needs...3abeer

Posture

This is a short random post for you guyz

hope you like it 7tan lo its not that long :) 

   He sat there watching her. He watched her every move, her posture, her grace, beauty and power. She sat on her black chair with the most beautiful posture. Her shoulders and hips were squared, her back was straight, her head was up, her arms were extended to the tip of her fingers making her look like she's 6 feet tall, her thighs were exactly 90 degrees to her chest, her stomach was in and her ribs were pushed out.
 
   Her fingers were floating as they glided across the keys of the piano producing the most astonishing piece of music. She played with every ounce of her body. She felt the music, its was consuming her body, mind and soul. She was a completely different person in a different universe. A different galaxy.
  
   Her facial expressions were soft and loving. Her eyes were sparkling, her face was glowing. Music did that to her. She looked like and angel. He sat there studying her. He missed her so much. Its been so long since he saw her like that. She looked so peaceful.
 
   As she played her favorite piece of music Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven a smile kept forming on her face. The sounds she was producing were forming a story, an image, a painting...a masterpiece with numerous colors. A masterpiece which only took 7 minutes to complete. He admired her as she was glowing and beaming.

   Right after playing the last note and lifting her fingers off the piano keys, her posture completely changed. Her shoulders dropped, her hips relaxed, her back was hunched, her head was dipped, her arms shrunk and are close to her side and her long fingers were closed making a weak fist. Her chest was about 45 degrees to her thighs and stomach was relaxed and her ribs collapsed.

   Her face was tired and sad, her eyes were dead. She looked like someone who had the weight of the world on their shoulders. She wasn't glowing anymore. Everything she produced in 7 minutes was wiped away, it disappeared, it was completely gone. The masterpiece was destroyed and was worth nothing now.

   She turned around and gave her back to the piano but didn't get up. He stood up and walked to her and stood in front of her. She didn't notice his presence. The moment he settled his hand on her head she flinched and turned her head the other way then looked up at him with sorrow and pain in her eyes.

   "Are you scared from me?" He also was in pain and thought she didn't even want him to touch her. She moved her head left to right indicating that the answer is a no. "I'm always here for you, I'm waiting for you to come back to me...." She got up from her seat and made her way to the door but before she opened it he rushed and grabbed her from her waist and pulled her close to his chest.

   He inhaled her scent and felt her warmth that he was longing for. She didn't pull away, he was deprived of everything and she didn't want to take away this moment from his as well. But once she felt his heartbeat on her back she was scared of how she might react to this so she got out of his arms and walked out of the room, leaving him there to wait. To wait for the day which seems to be a very long way away.

Bachata- Te Extrano

This is a link to a video i found of people dancing to this song.

7ada 3ajeeeb!

you should listen to the song while reading this post

it gets you into the mood

hope you enjoy :***

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cehkSxOLNA 

Bachata is a style of dance that accompanies the music of the same name. It has its origins in the Dominican Republic but is danced widely in Latin America, parts of Europe and areas in the United States with substantial Hispanic populations.

   The lights were dimmed. The dance floor was cleared. The people circled around the dance floor waiting for the performance of the night. As the speakers began to sing the introduction of the song the couple began to slowly walk towards each other to the beat of the music. They inched towards each other.
 
   A few steps later they were so close they could feel each others breathing on their face.
He walked a bit further until he was behind her. He stepped towards her and twirled her around. There hands interlocked as there bodies became one. They started to move in unison to the sound of the music. He was leading while she was following. He was guiding her with subtle hand movements. Pushing her hands to move forward and pulling her hands to move backgrounds. Caressing her back and leading her into small twirls.

El tiempo pasa y pasa y yo sigo asi
Queriendote en mis brasos sin poderte tener
Y busco una salida para no verme asi
Ay que lejos de mi lado tu amor esta de mi

   As they did their four step beat dance with every 4th step they would lift their foot together and pop to the beat. After every pop the dance direction would interchange. They danced to the song until they had glided over every inch of the floor. While she moved her hips he lifted her hand up allowing her to turn around so that she was standing with her back facing him, he placed his palm on her abdomen pushing backwards causing then to dance very close she could practically feel his heart beat on her bare back.

Yo lloro y lloro al saber que no estas
Con mis labios mira mami yo te quiero besar
Y trato y trato por no sentirme asi
Pero eres malo saber que ya no me quieres a mi

   After 8 beats he twirled her around again to face him. He dipped her backwards as he moved her forming a semi circle in the air. Once he lifted her up gain he gently picked her right foot off the ground wrapping it around his side and dipped her again. This time right after lifting her up again he dipped her twice more. Making it look like it was a scene that was being re-winded and played again. On the last dip he drop his upper body down with her placing a light gentle kiss on the nape of her neck.

Mira, como estoy sufriendo
Me quemo por dentro, por sentir tu amor, (yeahh)
Mami, no me hagas, eso sabes que te quiero, (Oooooo)
Con todo el corazon

   They conquered the dance floor, they declared it their property. No one could win it back. It was theirs and was theirs form the night he met her on her 20th birthday. They dance with such intimacy, love, passion, lust. Their love was renewed on this they very same dance floor where they met 5 years ago. They celebrated their anniversary here. Recreating their love.

Te amo y te extrano quiero verte junto a mi
Abrasados de las manos y estar junto a ti
Pero me mata la conciencia el saber que no esta aqui

   He lead her off the dance floor but never stopped moving to the beat. He danced every step of the way with her following. Their arms interlocked as they twisted and turned in each others arms. Heat was building up between them. They danced out of everyone's site. The music was still loud and clear. He pulled her closer to him as they popped to the beat.

O baby why you gotta be doing this to me
Me duele tanto de saber que ya no eres para mi
Y ese lindo cuerpesito que contigo comparti
Me duele tanto saber que ya no eres para mi
Te extrano...

   They stopped. She looked deep into his eyes. They were speaking their own language. They stood centimeters apart but he still couldn't bare not holding her closer. He pulled her into his chest while his hand rested on her lower back. He moved his head till their lips were a hairline apart.

Mira, como estoy sufriendo
Me quemo por dentro, por sentir tu amor, (yeahh)
Mami, no me hagas, eso sabes que te quiero, (Oooooo)
Con todo el corazon

   He loved this women with all his being and was the luckiest man alive to have met her. He kissed her softly. Her lips were so delicate. He wanted to kiss her harder but she was so pure even thought they have been married for 4 years she was still pure to him, still the 20 year old he met while she was out with her friends. Their kiss grew hotter. He stopped and looked at her with hunger. He could never get enough of her. "Lets go home...now."

Lady of Sorrows

Im writing Chapter 37 write now bs ams i read the finale of "The Man Who Knows Loubies" that was written by QueenB and Zuzzy and they had a pictured attached of shoes that had red soles and it sort of inspired me to write this short random post.

I was writing it in my head last night while i was half asleep in bed LOOL bs woke up w knt nasya ina ams ga3da i mentally write something so il3a9r w ana ga3da achayk my blogspot dashboard shft the picture again and remembered fa i wrote it and decided to post it 3la ma u guys wait for chapter 37.

Bs please you guys i said this once w walla kilish ma wedi i say this again because i am so not that type of person bs 7mdila i have 43 followers i know you guys are reading bs may9er i only get 3 or 4 comments 3la kil post its not fair. 

I need your feedback walla it makes a worlda difference lama i write a chapter knowing im going to get comments. Ana mara7 i change my writing wla ra7 agoolkm mako post or anything like that because i know all of you are reading it and it wont be the right thing to do bs can you guys please comment more i seriously need it. Thanks :*

Anywayz waayyydd gragt hehehe so here it is ;)

   As she walked towards the large glass doors the sounds from her heels filled up the hallway as they clicked on the ground causing the sound vibrations to bounce off the walls producing an echo. The bright red soles of her high heels would show one at a time as she took her steps until the sole of her right foot remained in mid air while she leaned onto the glass door and pushed it open.
 
   The slight cold air from the outside blew her golden brown curled hair off her shoulders and as she took a step into the bright green live garden her hair settled back onto her shoulders and back once again. She stood there and shut her eyes for a while breathing in the freshness the sun produces as it shines on the grass and trees. She sighed at the smell as a warm radiant smile formed across her face.
 
   She has missed this place a lot. The wonderful days, months, and years she spent out here. She would trade anything in this world for just another morning out here. She walked towards the grass and stood there staring at it as memories began to flood into her brain.
 
   She took her heels off, one at a time, them carefully and gently stepped forward onto the beaming green grass. She walked on it so delicately and slowly as if she feared this whole scene would disappear in the blink of an eye or the small grass stems would break from the pressure being exerted from the soles of her feet.
 
   As she sat herself down on the grass and extended her legs, she felt the tickling grass on her bare legs since she was wearing a skirt. She lowered her back and head until she was laying flat and staring upwards to the sun. Sun rays were dancing on her skin.
 
   She turned her head to left to examine the tree that is now so huge. It was once a tiny tree that was still aiming to reach the sky but from where she was looking it has grown and went beyond the sky. As she noticed the two thick sandy ropes that are still hanging on the thick branch of the tree she let out a childish innocent laugh and quickly jumped on her feet and began to skip her way towards the tree. She held one of the ropes as jumped off her feet twisting herself and sitting on the swing.

   The swing was going higher and higher as she pushed herself. Every time she went up all she could see was the sky and when she went back down she got the feeling you get when you ride a roller coaster and it goes down a sudden drop. The butterflies always reminded her of her childhood when her father would push the swing causing her to go so high. Despite the butterflies and the slight fear she always wanted to go higher. So high that it would actually be possible for the swing to flip over the branch.

   She allowed the swing to slowly settle back down and come to a stop. She got up from the swing and went back to where she left her heels. She grabbed them and went to settle down on the Toscana farm-inspired dining table collection and put her heels back on. As she took a deep breath she stood up and sighed, walked towards the glass doors and stood in front of it for 2 seconds and turned around to look at the garden one last time. She took it all in. Imprinting every fine detail into her memory fearing she would forget this place.

   She closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of the garden one last time and walked out through the glass doors without looking back. She made her way to the entrance of the house where she bumped into her nanny. Without saying a word she gave her a warm hug to thank her for everything she has done, especially for making this visit to her beloved garden possible.

   Her nanny didn't want to let go. She raised her as if she was her own daughter and loved her to pieces. She finally loosened her grip and let go but just as the main door was opened she called out for her knowing she might never get another chance to say this to her "Lola..."

   Lola turned around to look at the only mother she has ever had. "Sí.." Thats the only word she was able to form. Her heart was aching, she didn't expect to see her nanny which is making this a lot more harder. "Your father has breakfast in the garden every morning no matter what the weather is like, its the only time where he feels close to you.... he really misses you mi bebita."

   A single tear fell down from the pool that has formed in her eyes. "I know mamá but i can't come back, not now... i just can't" She went back to her nanny and kissed the crown of her head and then left. She closed the main door and got into her car and drove off, again without looking back. As much as she wanted to look at her house one last time since she didn't know when the next time she was going to be here again is, she just didn't.


Lola [LO-luh] is a feminine given name, a short form of the Spanish name Dolores and German name Aloisia, meaning "sorrows", a name taken from a title of the Virgin Mary: Virgen Maria de los Dolores, or Our Lady of Sorrows.

Skinny Hot or Skinny Ugly?

I was just google-ing a few images, looking for nothing in particular, just random stuff. So i was looking at America's Next Top Model photos and precisely at the cycle which all of the contestants were 5"7' or under and i saw a few photos which actually show how skinny models are. I was thinking about how people, especially girls, of all ages, would look at these models. Some would dream about being model thin and others would think that's just sick and they would never want to be that skinny.

So, I got the idea of writing this post and attaching a photo w i let you guyz comment 

What you think about girls being normal skinny ya3ne just thin in an ok way?

What do you think about girls being over skinny?

What do you think about how models look? 

What do most young girls nowadays believe is the perfect body image?

Do any of you think the best body image is for you to be thin and if not then what is it?

7tan ana ra7 i comment with you guyz. I just thought it would be a nice topic to talk about since this really concerns almost all of the communities all over the world. 

One day...

Ok sooo... ma5al9t chapter 20 and im still working on it fa here is the random i wrote and inshala lama ard ilbait akaml 20 and post it tomorrow cause im going out now!

ENJOY:*** 

She stared at the mirror. She was staring at this figure and at this face she couldn't recognize anymore. It made her feel like she was standing across from a stranger. It seemed like the mirror in front of her was actually a window. She stared this person straight in the eye. Trying to recognize the person she has become. But nothing. Nothing clicked. Nothing made sense.

   She has sculpted herself into a new person. She despised this new woman she was staring at. Envied her for her happiness. For her ability to never over analyze things anymore. To always say that things will make a turn. This new her has managed to break some walls that were built years ago to shelter herself from anymore pain. Enough walls have been broken to allow people to think she is happy.

   She has taught herself to smile. Not any smile, but one of those smiles that makes people think She must have everything she wants in life to smile confidently and sincerely. They don't know what actually is behind this lovely smile and those warm eyes.

   She has mastered the art of smiling with her eyes. She can easily convince someone. You know how people usually look someone in the eye to know whether they are lying or not, or whether they are actually fine or trying to hide something, or how you search an answer by looking someone in the eye. She has taught herself to deceive people. No one can do that with her. She always made her eyes look like they were twinkling and happy and that stars and hearts are always jumping about in her head. She overcame the hate and pain that used to fill and control her.  

   The image in the mirror became to change to a small young girl that actually had stars in her eyes. She didn't know who that was at first. She didn't realize who her memory had brought up this time then she saw the small mark across her little girls forehead. She remembers now. The little girl is her. It was her before her life completely changed. Before her mother was murdered and slaughter like a dead animal in front of her by her father when she was only 7.

   She wanted to warn this little girl of what life has in store for her, but she couldn't. This was only her memory. An image that would soon fade away. She lifted her arm up and look at it in the mirror. She examined the huge knife mark that hasn't gone away after all these years. It was a constant reminder of that horrid day, of her dark past but it was also a reminder of how she pulled herself out of this dark hole she has dug for herself.

   She looked back into her own eyes. The little girl has vanished. It was her again. She smiled and saw how her eyes automatically sparkled. She always did that so that people won't know how sad she actually was inside. The bathroom door opened and someone has walked in. She didn't notice as she was consumed in her own thoughts.

   Arms wrapped themselves around her and she snapped back to reality and felt like she was home and safe in these arms. It was her husband. "Your thinking about that night right?" She nodded still keeping that smile plastered across her face. Only he knew of her secret and how she taught herself to keep her feelings bottled up and not let anyone in and to know when she is sad. But even he couldn't tell when she was genuinely smiling or if it was one of the lessons she taught herself as a child and mastered.

   One day... One day she will stop the automatic shelter she built for herself as a way to escape peoples question. One day she will forget the past and forgive and live truly happy... One day.

So Close But So Far Apart

 Sorrrryy i didn't post today bs i was soo busy :s we had this photoshoot thing that we went to today and it was fun but took sooo long w kan 7AAARR! and the guy asked me if i wanted to model for him :$ bs gltla im going bak home in 2 days and then he told me lama i come back LOL anywayz since i didn't post today this a random post 7gkum w inshala bacher ra7 i post bs i've been doing last minute things gbl ma ard ilq8 :S

HERS:
   She was standing there. As soon as he got in her heart skipped a beat. She held her breath and couldn't inhale. Her head dropped down and her hair covered the left side of her face blocking out his view of her face. His smell was filling up the elevator. His heat was warming up the place. She could hear his breathing. His presence alone brought life to the closed up elevator. She began to feel moisture in her eyes. Her blinking quickened trying to fight away her tears. The attempt was a failure and the tears began to rapidly fill up her eyes. 

   Her lips began to tremble. With every  ounce of power and strength in her she stopped the tears from rolling down and from gasping for air. The worst part of it all was being so close to him and feeling him looking at her but she couldn't touch him. She couldn't turn around and get lost in his eyes. She couldn't walk up to him and place her lips on his soft loving lips and allow him to take her to a whole different place. His smell was killing her. His presence was hurting her. 

   She couldn't stand this anymore and wanted to get out but she was stuck in this elevator with him. She couldn't go anywhere before the doors opened. She heard him move his legs. Her heart skipped another beat as the thought of him walking up to her and placing his hands on her skin filled her head. She felt goosebumps and a shiver run up and down her spine. 

   Oh how she would love his hands to touch her skin. She closed her eyes for a split second trying to shut out all of these thoughts. The elevator pinged signaling that they have reached their floor. As she opened her eyes her tears began to make their way down her cheek and she practically ran out the door before he could say or do anything. She never knew she could be so close to him but feel so far away and it was the most painful feeling she would ever experience.

HIS:
   The doors opened and as soon as he looked up his eyes saw her. His soul found its match. His heart found its source of energy. His body found its warmth. He walked in and stood behind her to her left. Her hair blocked his view of her face. He  tried to stay as calm as he possibly could. He tried to prevent himself from reaching out to touch her. 

   He wanted to turn her around and hold her so close to his body but he couldn't. That would just hurt her even more. He wanted to move closer and just breath in her smell but he couldn't do that either. He knew it would be dangerous to be that close to her. He wouldn't be able to control himself. He needed to be close to her, he wanted her, wanted to touch her to get his thinking back into order. To get his heart to beat regularly again. To get his eyes to feel like they are seeing normally again as they look at her beautiful features and her deep eyes. 

   He wanted to lift her up and kiss her. Only after he has kissed her would be be able to breath again. She had this effect on him. He fidgeted in his place trying to put himself together and stop thinking about her. He knew if he tried to do anything right now he would only be hurting her even more. As he looked up to the ceiling trying to distract himself he heard the elevator ping. 

   He looked back down only to find the doors opening and her rushing out. He ran out after but as soon as he stepped out he stood there. He knew she was crying because she was still hurting and being so close to him hurt even more. If only she knew how more it was hurting him not to being able to hold her in his arms to comfort her. He let her walk away. Being in that elevator with her is as close as he could get to her for the time being.

Random: Little Black Dress

Hatha ilrandom post.. its a tiny bit naughty hehehehe ;p bs not all my random posts are going to be naughty ;)

enjooyy :**

   As she got up and walked to the far end of the room he couldn't help but walk after her. He took longer steps as he tried to catch up with her. She was still very fast even in her heels . Her bare back was drawing him in. Never did he think a back low cut dress would be so intriguing. She entered a room which he didn't recognize. 

   His foot steps quickened. His breathes got deeper as he placed his hand on the handle and slowly pushed downwards opening the door. Her head snapped in the direction of the door as he walked in. Once she caught a glimpse of him she turned to face the mirror once again to fix her hair. He was mesmerized by her flawless shoulders and silky smooth back. Her thick hair was pinned up in a bun of curls. She was so calm and relaxed. 

   He went and stood behind her looking at her glamorous face in the mirror. It was glowing. She was still fixing her hair. He lifted his hands up and placed them on hers and slowly pulled them away from her hair down to the side of her body. As he slowly unpinned her hair, letting the loose curls fall down ever so slowly he planted a soft kiss on her right shoulder. 

   He pushed her hair onto her left shoulder revealing her back once again. Slowly began trailing kisses from the tip of her right shoulder to the nape of her neck. They were soft, loving and caring kisses that were also filled with passion, lust and need. He controlled himself. He couldn't believe how much control he had on himself around something so beautiful. He lightly trailed his finger from the end of her hair line to the tip of the dress on her lower back. He knew that send chills down her spine and gave her goosebumps. 

   She turned around to face him. They were centimeters apart. Their noses were touching. They explored each other through their eyes. Its wonderful how deep you could look into a persons soul just through their eyes. He brushed the back of his hand against her forearm, making his way to her face. He cupped her cheek and got a bit closer. Still staring into her eyes. 

   He knew she wanted this more than ever. He lightly places his lips on hers. He wanted to feel her soft full pink luscious lips. As he slowly parted her lips with his he began to slowly kiss her. It was magical, passionate and full of need. He pulled away for a split second then bit her lower lip ever so gently, looked deep into her eyes and simply just said " you look more beautiful with your hair down babe....keep it this way".